WHO PROVOKES YOU?

When we first get ideas, they often come with a lot of excitement—at least for me, they do. Even the ones that scare me come with a dose of adrenaline. As a younger person, once an idea came, I darted off like a rabbit being chased by a dog. Many times, the chase led nowhere. I would end up defeated and deflated, not knowing why it didn’t work and unsure of what to do next.

Sometimes, it wasn’t even an idea that stressed me. It was the feeling of not knowing what to do—like I had hit a block, and stagnation was knocking at the door.

My mother played a key role during those times because, somehow, she always had the right words and imagery for me. I remember when the institution I worked for was tasked by the government to conduct a study. My bosses assigned it to me, and I poured my heart into the work. Not only was it approved by the government, but the institution was celebrated for it. I was young and naïve about how the real world operated. By the time the work was submitted to the government, my name had been removed. I was shattered and broke down in tears.

My mother, in her characteristic blunt style, asked why I was upset. When I told her, she said, “Will you wipe those silly tears off your face? When a chicken lays eggs and you take the eggs, does it cry?” “No,” I replied. She continued, “What does it do?” “It lays more eggs,” I answered. She said, “There are more eggs in you, so keep laying them.”

That lesson has never left me. Any setback I have faced has just been an opportunity to lay more eggs.

When my mother passed away, it left a huge hole in my life. It was then that I realized she had been consistently mentoring me for the next level of life.

A mentor is a person who has been there and is able to lead you and tell you where the land mines are. A mentor is someone whose experience becomes your instruction. A mentor is someone who sees who you can be, regardless of who you have been. A mentor is someone who tells you what you need to hear and not what you want to hear.

A mentor is that person who is the most provocative person in your life. A mentor is someone who can annoy you to the point of action. A mentor is someone who is not impressed when the whole world is impressed by you because they know that you are only operating at a fraction of what you are capable of doing.

Now to the billion-dollar question—who is that person in your life today?

It is not optional. If you are headed for the top, you need that person. I have had my share of those in my life, and I am the better for it. Today I mentor only because I have been mentored.